I am under so much stress and you are not bothered at all!
Who else do I talk to?
Papa just survived a heart attack. I can't tell my parents, can I?
Don't tell them.
And?
Don't tell anyone right now.
What do we do then?
We haven't confirmed the pregnancy yet. Let's get the test done first.
Please check the map.
It has been five weeks Jithin.
Jitin!
What? Isn't that your name anymore?
You said you would only call me 'Jithu', no matter what.
Consider yourself lucky that I am not swearing right now.
Has the cat got your tongue?
I have been telling you.
Don't play around Jithu.
Honey, we can do everything as you wish.
What if I am pregnant? Address that first.
Are you okay?
Maybe it is gas. That bread was a little off.
Apply some heat on the stomach, you will feel better.
Get me a lemon on the way.
Shall we go?
Keep some paper on your tummy if its hurting.
Get a magazine from the glove box.
Do you think we can afford a baby right now?
May be not, but we will, if we have to.
You make it sound so easy.
Do you have any idea what my body will have to go through?
Do you think people would leave me alone if they come to know that I'm pregnant?
Can you imagine the social stigma my family has to face?
If anything happens to my Papa, I'll make you pay for it.
Why are you talking like this?
Then come up with a solution!
What's the big issue now?
So, we have no issues?
Of course, I shouldn't have expected anything from you.
Sudha had warned me long ago!
What?
If I knew you were such an idiot, I would have never gotten into this.
Maria, you should understand something; I didn't force you to sleep with me.
Whatever we did, we did on mutual consent.
You wanted to chuck condoms for better intimacy.
But you said that it was not the time of ovulation.
That can vary a little sometimes.
How am I supposed to know that?
Why are you blaming me for everything?
I haven't gotten my periods.
None of my family knows about us.
And you don't even have a regular job.
My head isn't straight, think about a solution.
Please don't come up with lame excuses like,
We are not sure yet, we will see when it comes to it etc.
Tell me what will we do if I am pregnant.
If that's the case, I will find a job.
And?
I will work and we will tell everything to our parents, that's all!
As if there is a job waiting just for you.
My friends have told me about a couple of openings.
Which friends?
Ani was talking about one.
Who else?
Ani has mentioned something. That's it.
That was in January, before the pandemic. You are still relying on that?
You were the one who asked me to follow my passion instead of going for a regular job!
Even my parents wanted otherwise, but I listened to you.
Had you gotten me pregnant back then?
What should I do now?
So you'll create problems and expect me to find the solutions!
I am getting worked up. Please say something.
Try to keep quiet for some time. Talking is what gives you stress.
I want to talk it out.
I hope the result will be negative.
In my opinion, even this test is pointless.
I don't need your "opinion" right now.
Why did the stick show positive then?
You are not supposed to read it after 5 mins.
It was only four minutes.
If you were pregnant, the line would have been clearer.
Then why the hell am I not getting my periods?
There must be other reasons.
Periods can be delayed due to stress.
But, by a whole week?
Most of my friends struggle with PCOD, PCOS and all.
But I have always had my periods on time.
The past six months were really stressful.
Yeah, working from home is taking a toll on everyone.
That's not an issue for me. Rather, I can work at my own pace now.
What else might be causing stress four your highness?
I am the one who does the cooking and the cleaning.
And it is me who remembers to pay the bills on time.
And you are saying that you are stressed!
Have you forgotten the hobos you brought home?
I had to cook two meals per day for them.
And who else gets all the necessary grocery on time?
So don't claim to be the only one doing chores.
You did something once and its a big deal now!
Have you forgotten everything?
When we shifted, all the household works were on me.
After office, I had to take care of housework too.
Then I took over, right?
After all those arguments.
See Maria, I get it.
May be its an occupational hazard or whatever.
But your habit of making stories is really helping you during arguments.
Now it's all become my fault!
And what fucking right do you have to judge my profession?
According to you, I'm only a jobless loser!
An artist has better integrity than someone who writes for a tabloid any day.
Where did your integrity disappear while hogging on the tabloid writer?
You better stop this here.
Hello?
I can't think straight.
Cant imagine bringing up a child.
Let alone an abortion.
An ectopic pregnancy can mimic these symptoms apparently.
Didn't you agree a little ago that we may have misread the result?
I didn't say that.
Why do you always try to evade the issues?
Carry on.
You were saying that an ectopic pregnancy could show false-positive.
Not that!
For God's sake can you stop diagnosing on Google?
Is Google the problem, right now?
Are you prepared to be a parent?
I cannot assure that I will be an excellent parent from tomorrow onwards.
People don't become ideal parents overnight.
They get there gradually.
I am not talking about people, but you.
I am okay.
But I am not.
I was planning to apply for a PhD abroad after my masters.
I had so many plans!
You can still do that.
Piss off!
You will just loiter around like other men.
And I will be stuck at home with houseworks and the baby.
Why don't you ever see how much I care for you?
I have been cleaning the house as you said that you are allergic to dust.
You would just twist the narratives as you please.
You would do it when I am your girlfriend. Wait for us to get married.
You are generalizing way too much.
Wouldn't it be a better idea never to get married at all?
What makes you think so?
Are you really into marriage?
What's the matter?
It is just a piece of paper anyway.
I'd not call it just a piece of paper.
One should be able to walk out at any point.
Would you want to walk out?
Maybe, after all, we are all humans.
Maria! what are you even trying to say?
Are you okay with an abortion?
In my opinion, a woman has absolute autonomy over any decision concerning her body.
If I have to take all the decisions by myself, then why the fuck are we together?
Why would I need a relationship? I could just have one night stands instead.
Now, why don't you come down to reality instead of going all theatrical.
I will go to any extent for your happiness and our peace.
I see, what extent would that be?
I will be the one who goes through a pregnancy and abortion!
Oh my God!! What is your actual question?
Are you okay with the concept of abortion?
If that is what you want, we will get that done.
Did you just agree to keep me quiet?
No. I am serious. Let's do that if that's what you want.
But you shouldn't be depressed or stressed out after that.
So I should handle the complete mental stress and trauma all by myself!
Maria, can you please stop this blame-game?
It could be false positive, right?
There is a limit to my patience. Been telling you it is nothing.
Don't you understand?
Keep your voice down. Why are you shouting?
All this shouting has made my stress really worse.
You yourself are responsible for your BP and stress.
You don't fucking care about anyone but yourself.
Everything is about you and your problems.
We are going to get the test done. Let the result tell.
You still got plenty of time to start worrying.
One should carry the umbrella only when it is raining.
Later, Later.. When are you actually gonna take a decision?
One should be prepared for life.
Take a look at your career.
Actors like Tovino and Sreenath Bhasi are all of your age.
At least one of us should be a bit serious about things.
You can't imagine the mental stress I am going through.
You can't stand me being cool and happy.
As a matter of fact,
Your carelessness is exactly my problem.
So you'd never ever leave me in peace!
Everybody has problems in their life. We have to manage it together.
Start addressing my concerns. What if my family or colleagues come to know about this?
What the hell do you want from me?
Keep your voice down!
You just give me a proper answer. What are we going to do if I am pregnant?
Pregnancy is a biological process.
You are not the first woman to give birth to a baby.
You should just follow what other women have been doing.
It is not possible for me to take over your pregnancy or delivery.
As if you can do that!
You are unable to even handle a little bit of my excess emotions..
All that you can do is trivialize my pain and my struggles.
And you are very good at that.
And he asks me to do like all women.
Now he will teach me all about pregnancy and childbirth.
Can you stop shouting for a minute please?
Here comes Mr.Charles Darwin!
I should stop it seems, I am the one shouting?
Who else?
First of all, I just answered your questions. I was not shouting.
You have no idea how you sound.
When I came with a problem to you, you are telling me that all women deliver.
How fucking insensitive!, Dude!
We will get married, now stop worrying, okay?
If it was that easy to get married, why are we hiding this relationship?
How can I introduce you at home?
Let us take one step at a time.
I will find a job and then we will tell them.
Not everything goes according to our plans.
For instance, did anyone foresee this pandemic and that all our lives would get affected?
Circumstances change and those who adapt to it can survive.
Is this the way I react when you come to me with a problem or another?
I handle them with great care.
Yes. You pamper me and sing a lullaby too!
It is so comforting. You know?
Yes. That's exactly what I do. You know why?
Because you are a fucking man child.
I don't want to look after one more child right now.
I will look after the child.
Right! Will you breastfeed the baby every alternate hour too?
And change the diapers?
Yes I will. Can you put an end to this now?
Maria, please learn to take life more practically.
Being emotional doesn't mean you can take it all out on me!
Do you think I can't talk like you? I am just trying to avoid such conversations.
Yea, that's why you have dumped all the stress on me.
Do you see that paper cup? It has been lying there for a week.
There is a doughnut box on the backseat that was bought last month. Remember?
You do all the littering and I have to do all the cleaning.
I am pissed off being your slave.
Any idea about the stress you give me?
It is pointless to apply makeup and to polish yourself
If the space that we share is not kept clean.
I maintain personal hygiene and you don't. That's not my fault.
The problem is with your upbringing. You haven't learned any civic sense.
Oh so you think you are a gentleman?
You smell like a gutter!
Yeah yeah! As if this is the first time I am living with someone!
Nobody has ever had a problem with my smell.
Those women who lived with you might have been filthy like you too.
You take shower only once in three days.
You do not brush until afternoon.
You don't even use a deodorant.
It's a relief that you use deodorant even if you don't wipe your ass.
You cannot hide your 'civilized self' for long.
I have had many relationships, but not one shitty as this.
Yea, I am not a slut and haven't slept around with many.
So? Should one get special brownie points for that?
Which century are you living in?
I am driving for fuck sake!
I dont care!
Go to your ex's if you miss them so much.
That's better.
Get lost !
Piece of shit! fuck off !
Want water?
Where are you going?
My sister, who never call me even for my birthday, rang me today.
Haven't you heard of sibling rivalry?
Of course! People who have siblings are well aware of sibling rivalry.
My brother and I fight with each other all the time.
But the only thing that unite us is when we plot against our parents.
Do you know why my sister rang me today?
She is pregnant and she wanted to tell me that before telling even her husband.
Isn't that cute to have a sibling!
Many a times we would have felt they are a nuisance!
But your sibling will be the one whom we can trust even more than our parents.
Share your sibling experience with us today.
Is sibling rivalry a reality? Or do you share a warm and intense relation?
Do call us and share your experience. Dial 8080 Blue FM.
Achu, no. I don't want to see you again.
I may appear as a tough guy to others, but it is just a mask.
A disguise for existence.
Sometime back, when I had feelings for you,
I could not reveal it.
Finally, when I got the courage, it was too late.
I would never forgive myself.
But that night, when I shut the door upon your tears and walked away,
There remained the image of that beautiful young girl engraved in my mind.
That memory is enough for me to cherish forever.
Yeah Vineeth... Whats up?
Mathu's marriage is fixed. Hope you got the invitation?
No, i didn't. Cutting down on expenses during lock-down, i suppose.
I have lost my sleep.
You were the one waiting for her to get married.
My first ever love, lasted three and a half years, got traumatized after that.
Nothing worked out after that. I have no peace.
And the worst part is, she is getting married to my junior at school, Jinu Mohan.
So what?
I am an ordinary Malayali male. Not a woke like you.
I am sexually repressed and i have sexual jealousy towards other men.
Especially the one marrying my lover!
Ex. That's an important term. Don't forget that!
X and Y are for those who can move on.
She will always be my Desdemona!
Just move on. There's nothing else to do.
You are a lucky guy with a lovely wife to fuck and cook for you!
Girlfriend.
It's been 5-6 months, right? It's now a marriage.
While being single, you are concerned about only society.
But when you are in a relationship, you can't even think about the society!
Grass is always greener on the other side.
Too much of sincerity is a problem. We, emotional men, take it to heart.
My post teenage life can be split into two phases;
One, in relationship. Two, traumatized period after break-up.
By the time I slowly move on, She'd post something against me on facebook again.
And i get depressed for another four weeks!
Unnecessary guilt is your problem.
Why does it bother you whatever she does? Her life is all fine from what I know.
True, Jinu Mohan is well off and all!
You are only 28 now!
What is the relevance?
I understand your problem. Mathu is not a person. She is a concept, a symbol.
Figment of imagination!
Are you telling me that the probability for a girl with such gorgeous body and hair is zero?
You are proving my point yet again.
Whats your point?
Your trouble is not in telling goodbye to a girl.
If so, you'd have joined some whats app group for poets or jumped in front of a train.
You don't want to say goodbye to that time. You don't want to grow basically.
That's good. That means I still got a chance with young chics.
But you need permission from your wife for everything.
There are problems in analyzing things from outside.
Man, I gotta go. Call you later.
That aunty is coming with us till Putiya road.
That place is nearby.
Please come.
She can take a rikshaw.
Unlock the door.
Sorry to be a bother.
That's okay.
Don't worry. I haven't got corona.
Got a swollen leg!
I used to do Ayurveda, but my son doesn't like it.
He prefers modern medicine.
He consulted some doctor and the doctor suggested a blood test.
Your son didn't come?
He is in Dubai.
What does he do?
He is a chef. Working there for eight years now.
What did they say?
The result will come by evening.
Should we come again for the result?
Oh you are concerned about the driving?
They will email me.
Alright.
If you are pregnant, don't bend or stretch too much.
Don't carry any weight.
It is not like before. Girls are not very healthy these days.
Mostly due to lack of physical activity.
What do you do son?
I am an artist.
What?
He is an actor.
In TV?
Theaters mainly. Have done small roles in a couple of films.
Whats your name?
Jitin Babusenan.
Oh! I haven't heard before.
They are all crazy about movies these days.
My sister's sister-in-law's son is also acting in movies!
Well, one has to start by doing small roles I suppose!
But you wouldn't get paid much unless you become a big star.
How do you manage your expenses?
We don't spend much.
How about you darling, do you work somewhere?
I am a journalist.
Oh! You look like one.
It is said that if wife earns more than the husband, conflicts are assured.
Times have changed, anyone would like to have a steady earning job.
How did your parents agree to the marriage?
We are not married.
Oh, what are they saying?
We have not told anyone.
You seem tired.
Might be because I gave blood.
You gave two drops of blood, not two bottles!
Did I come to you telling that I am tired?
Hello
Why didn't you come?
Everyone asked about you.
Those are just excuses, marriage is a marriage.
There were about a hundred people.
Almost a sixty from their side.
They are like that!
She will be 24 years by next year.
Studies can be continued after marriage.
That's what she said.
Everybody knows why they conducted the wedding in a hurry.
Only very few people will know.
They can be excused due to the current circumstances.
Yes.
Will you come this way sometime soon?
My son is doing good, he rings me everyday.
Oh! If I had gotten stuck there!
I cant think of it.
Please stop near that house.
It would be hell to stay in a flat for 5-6 months.
She made a primary contact with hundred people!
Imagine the test coming out negative after all these arguments we had.
The argument is not about the test being negative, but positive.
Isn't it better to stay calm expecting it to be negative,
Than to get all worked out!
Today is not about you Jithu, it is about me.
Can you stop being a narcissist for like one second?
It is not always about you.
I should have seen the red flags long back.
Do you remember, when my parents were harassing me over your message,
Where were you? At Munnar!
For your cousins wedding!
Why are you bringing up old fights now?
As if you don't do that.
Remember the fuss you made when I gave a 'like' to Jose Mathew's facebook status?
It was "love".
Psycho!
Instead of correcting me all the time, invest half of that time in analyzing yourself.
Same applies to you.
Hello Sir,
Yes Sir, Ajay Sir told me you would call.
I couldn't find the time all this while.
I was busy with the post production of two films, going back and forth studios.
Okay, I will directly get to the questions without wasting your time.
We can start with your new movie.
First of all, this cannot be called a movie.
When every other person is making short movies and uploading on facebook and tiktok,
It is not proper to call this a movie.
The right word is cinema.
Then the responsibility of making it cinematic falls on the shoulder of the director.
Yes, few words about your new film?
This is a feminist film.
Not just any feminist film, rather a feminist film done by a male director.
It is probably the first of that sort in Malayalam film industry.
Can we call this an experimental film, like your earlier works?
The term experiment is used when we are not sure about what we are doing.
I was very sure about the film by the time I finished writing it.
So there is no experiment involved.
Your film involves a scene where two buffaloes are seen eating grass for a long time.
That takes nearly 5 minutes of the film.
Don't you think such shots which do not contribute much to the film,
Will divert the audience from the cinema?
Problem is when you see buffaloes just as buffaloes.
You have to put an effort to understand what it represents.
I am not blaming you but..
If Bergman or Tarkovsky takes a slow film, no one would question it.
It shows the cultural and educational deterioration of our society.
You are a director with a unique style of film making.
Has any film maker inspired you in developing such a style?
Most directors of Malayalam have either assisted someone in the past,
Or studied film making from institutes.
I have not received any of such formal training, so there is no shortage of originality.
When others copy from somewhere, I have common lives to copy from.
I have heard you criticizing film schools in other interviews as well.
May I know why?
Cinema is an art form using imagination. It cannot be taught in a school.
It should come naturally.
I don't find any use except spending a lot of time and money.
Coming to your new film 'Tabala' which is supposed to be a feminist film,
Being a woman, I am curious to know how women are presented in the film.
Few words about that?
Mostly feminists and progressives fail to address the problems of the common woman.
They just want to be like men.
But we forget about the areas where only women can excel.
For example, my grandmother used to make very good sambar.
I have not met anyone who makes such wonderful sambar.
My grandfather on the other hand was a revenue officer.
If my grandmother preferred to be a revenue officer rather than a housewife,
We all would have missed out on such amazing sambar!
How can we be sure that we did not miss a very efficient revenue officer?
Right! Not only my grandfather, my father was also a government employee.
I was the only one who attempted something differently.
Though your films have gone to many festivals,
They don't have many audience back home.
But a commercial drama would always find audience easily.
Do you think this mentality should change? Who is responsible for this?
Of course, It is the Government's fault.
If they can't find good films and provide necessary fund and other help, who else will do?
Its all a publicity stunt these days.
Rajnikanth and Amitabh Bachan are still given awards!
One last question.
Famous director Sunil Prasad described your cinema using very harsh words.
He used the term 'poverty porn' on his facebook post.
You were described as a person exploiting peoples' misery.
Many other critiques have the same opinion.
How do you respond?
Let me ask, who is this Sunil Prasad?
How many of his films have been released?
I have never heard of him.
What can I comment about people who try to insult their colleagues?
Their intention is not good.
On the contrary, they want to silence people whom they don't like.
Everyone knows that.
I just have to tell the jealous,
I will do cinemas again and I am not going to stop.
Okay sir, great. Thank you for your valuable time and best wishes for your new cinema.
When will you publish this?
Next week sir. I will send you the link.
Send me the draft soon, we can correct any changes before publishing.
Ok sir.
Did you see the balm?
I had it in my bag.
You didn't have to tell to that aunty that we are not married.
So what? She left us in peace at least for some time.
Not because you are giving up on us?
I understand your psychology.
Maybe, as she is of my mothers age, it could be my Oedipal Complex
Which made me tell her that I am available. How about analyzing it that way?
That's possible. You can use humor as means of hiding your embarrassment.
So, Who were you talking to?
I was waiting for that question!
Yeah, tell me.
It was Vineeth.
Vineeth or Vineetha?
How did he call exactly when I went out?
Whats so special about that time?
He had called me in the morning, I couldn't answer
Where are his chat messages? Why do you delete them?
If there's anything, we talk over phone.
If I chat, he spams and then I have to delete.
Not because you don't want me to see the photos and videos of girls he send.
It shouldn't concern you as long as I don't keep them.
My problem is that he is sending them.
All guys do that. No big deal.
I am not sending or keeping it. Then where is the problem?
But he knows that you are committed.
He would be forwarding it to everyone.
I don't think so.
You should clearly tell him.
Not to send porn.
Okay.
He and his brohood!
And he claims to be all progressive!
And it's okay when you and your girlfriends shut yourself in the room and kiss each other?
That is wrong on so many different levels!
You have no clue about a woman's world.
No clue.
Did you text him asking to call you and then delete the text? Tell me the truth!
Maria, you are crazy. I could have just called him if I wanted.
It was he who called me.
I promise.
Good for you.
I hate that guy!
He is not a bother.
He is so full of insecurities and jealousy.
Right, you talk as if I am Mr.Ambani!
You have a stable relationship!
Small, but you have roles in cinema.
They are all jealous, okay?
Is there anyone without issues?
That's none of my business.
I have cut my friends off whenever you asked.
That Sumesh was a friend of 15 years! I ended it just because of you!
You are comparing him to the flirts!
Opposite gender would be a problem for you! I don't believe men.
You can have female friends if you want. I don't care!
But I don't have any.
That's not my problem.
Will you stop talking to him?
Okay!
You can call once in a while if you want.
Better to have friends that match our class!
I am having a bad headache. Get me a tea.
It can be due to dehydration, have some water.
I need tea, not water.
Check if there's any bakery on the way.
Get it in a paper cup.
Let me find a shop.
Will find if you look.
Then you look!
Shall I get from here?
Yes.
What did mom say?
Dear Ann, when you share a space with others you have to share a few responsibilities too.
You don't have to take over all the responsibilities, but..
Oh God! What is this Ann?
Whatever you say, they are your parents!
They will have some concerns.
This is not your Bangalore!
You take a break and go to Valpara with him.
Don't come here, there are containment zones and lot of cases everywhere.
I don't mean that you have disease; Outside vehicles are not permitted here.
I am outside. Will call you when I am back.
Only tea?
What do you mean?
Could have bought something to eat as well.
I cannot predict your thoughts.
You asked me to buy tea, i bought tea.
You just need some common sense for that.
It is fine if you don't appreciate anything, but why do you blame for everything?
As if you bought me a diamond necklace!
Shall I get something to eat?
The tea will be cold by then. It's fine.
It was Ann, she had a huge fight with mom.
Praveen wanted to come home and meet her. Mom said no.
What else does she expect? At least she gets to meet him outside!
That's what I told her too. She's blabbering something.
This tea is really good.
You want some?
I don't like tea.
Its good.
Not just this tea, no tea in the world is good.
Good tea is an oxymoron.
Okay Mr. White Guy!
Do I look bloated?
What?
Have I put on weight? Why do you keep looking at my clothes?
Because you look beautiful.
Yeah?
Sorry.
Are you ok?
Yes.
Got my periods!
Stop near a medical shop, pad is over.
Meftal too.
We will get it.
Mornings...
Weave together, into my eyes
Blankets of rain
Amongst the cracks of my bones
Bloom
Little liberty caps
Your lips,dipped in madness,
Churn out those words
Of the same tone
Of the same type
Nights, wrap around
Glossy attires, of darkness
Snakes, mate in pairs
Along the twisted tufts of your dense hair
Your lips, dipped in madness,
Churn out those words
Of the same tone
Of the same type
You use your words as stakes
And impale my heart with them.
In the same way
I forgot to utter my silences
The leaves will fall around
With trees watching still
Along the window panes, shall crawl-
Little termites,with tall legs
Your lips, dipped in madness,
Churn out those words
Of the same tone
Of the same type